We made some new friends at the park. Although it involved me falling into the creek.
Real men still catch crawdads.
Me, coming to steal your man.
Two scientists walk into a bar:
"I’ll have an H2O."
"I’ll have an H2O, too."
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.
I SHALL CONSULT THE SPIRITS THROUGH TAROT FOR AN ANSWER
Two of Spades
The Community Chest
1st Edition Holo Charlizard
THE CARDS HAVE SPOKEN
I was cleaning out some old Rubbermaid storage containers in my storage room when I found the copy of “All About Me” that I wrote in when I was 7 and edited when I was 9.
I figured tumblr would get a kick out of just how fucking awful I was as a child.
"I own 17 buttholes"